My primary pet peeve is the twine-wrapped tin can. I will never, ever understand why this happens:
|This is not pretty.|
Speaking of putting trash on your table, can anyone explain this?:
|Excuse me, waiter, but my drink has a distinct "marinara" aftertaste.|
And for those hardcore weddings which need just that extra dash of silly to set them apart from all the tired, done-to-death mason jar uses, there are mason jars on sticks. Otherwise known as "rustic wine glasses", or something.
Also filed under "rustic" wedding chic, burlap:
|No, that's what I said. Burlap.|
Then again, apparently causing your guests discomfort is chic. Which is the only explanation I can imagine for the extremely high reputation of that wedding staple, the Chiavari Chair:
|Hideous AND hideously uncomfortable. Swish!|
These things look like cheap bamboo furniture that someone sprayed with gold paint. Whatever marketing genius turned this crap into the pinnacle of wedding seatery deserves a fucking medal for being the hands-down world's best bullshitting salesman of all time. I am in awe.
And of course, when your garbage bin has been wrung dry of all its wedding accoutrements, then it's time to raid the gutters and backyard leaf pile for twigs:
|Just like being in a whimsical forest, am I right?|
Yes, seriously. Grab some twigs, hang some shit on them, and call it a day. Perhaps my earlier comment bears repeating here: tying ribbon or gluing paper flowers on garbage makes it more garbage.
When did ugly become the new pretty? Next thing you know, people will be ruining their wedding dresses just to get interesting photos.